


My Love Untold

by ClarySade



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Marco Bott, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Best Friends, Best Friends Turned Couple, Character Death Fix, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, F/F, F/M, Fem!Eren, Female Eren Yeager, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Genderbending, Hopefully some feels, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I thought I was edgy, Implied Sasha and Connie, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager Are Siblings, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Not Related, Minor Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Minor Levi/Petra Ral, Platonic Relationships, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, What Was I Thinking?, attempt at slow-burn, ereri, im a sucker for fluff tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23264908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarySade/pseuds/ClarySade
Summary: Best friends Levi and Eren are stuck fighting a war in the apocalyptic world of Titans. They always have each others backs and will do anything to help the other survive. Living in a world where humans are the prey isn't easy and when Levi develops feelings for his best friend Eren... things get a little more complicated.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi/Eren Yeager, Levi/Petra Ral, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally up on my Wattpad account ClarySade, but after editing it, I decided to put it up here. 
> 
> Eren. Will. Be. A. Girl.  
> Don't be alarmed.
> 
> Feel free to kudos and leave a comment.   
> Let me know if I made Fem!Eren work. It's technically my first time doing a Genderbend : )

Living in a world of Titans can be tough. Every time someone walks outside the walls, they carry with them the possibility of never coming back. The risk of dying to protect the living. Protecting the people that are busy training to fight. They learn the weak points of the Titans outside, and how to protect themselves from the beings that live solely to kill us. Their time in training is spent hearing that they are walking corpses. No one listens, and no one cares, because if they start to believe that there isn't any point to fighting, then all hope is lost.

Giants, that can only kill to survive. That's what humans have been up against for who knows how long. They backed our ancestors into their walls, living every day scared that it could be their last. That at some point, during any day, a Titan could break through and destroy the village they had worked hard to make into a home. Destroy the people that had become a family. Destroy the one place on the surface that had become a haven. 

Many believe that we aren't actually living. Simply surviving. But how does one expect us to live when we can't go outside in the world that had been created for  _ us _ ? A world where Titans now roam free, destroying everything in their path. No heart. No pity. No mercy. Simply the instinctual need to survive. 

Those that can't fight are forced to stay home, caught on the prayer that their loved ones will return safely. That, sadly, isn't always the case. Thousands have left the walls in humanity's fight for the planet, and hundreds have been returned dead. They fight to protect the last remaining speck of the human race from the creatures that wish to see the world's end. 

Questions are formed in the minds of the living. The people left behind: the widows, the widowers, the orphaned children. The people that feel as though there's nothing left inside the walls. The question that no one asks, but everyone wants to be answered.

When?

When will it be safe? When will we be allowed to leave the walls and create our own lives, away from the terror of the Titans? To honor the fallen in a world rid of the beasts that hunted us. To see for ourselves the beauty of an open stream, the magnificence of a garden, or the wonder of the old forgotten ruins of our ancestors. Most have been unable to comprehend the fact that someday in the future, we may all be safe. The world will either begin, or it will crumble. We will either be living in our houses, safe from all threats or die, at the mercy of the Titans. For most, there is only one reality: the end of humanity. 

The last remaining spark of our species will die, and there will be no hope of ever defeating the Titans.

The soldiers that train and fight and die for our people have refused that this is the future. They die with the same thoughts. The same dying wish: freedom. Freedom from the captors that show themselves in nightmares. The ones who keep us inside the three layers of safety. The ones who force us to create an army, a military, the last strand of hope we hold on to. The hope that one day we will be safe. The last strand of hope that there is something good about to come. That we aren't doomed to death. That we have a fate, and that we will eventually live to see our Golden Age. The age where we will survive and thrive, without the Titans forcing us to live in corners.

Not very many believe that we can win. That we are all trapped in the same fate, the same destiny. That we will die at the hands of the Titans. That there is no hope for humankind. That we are all the walking dead. That everything we know will be wiped from our lives, no trace of it ever existing, with nothing we can do about it. Are we really doomed to this fate? Or will we be able to push the Titans back, and defend what is rightfully ours...


	2. A Bad Feeling

I felt myself groan before my eyes could even open. The simple act of waking up had me in a bad mood. Flipping over to my side, I opened my eyes slightly, noticing that the light from the window had already lit up my bedroom. My arm snapped down to the blankets around my waist and brought one up to cover my head. 

After a couple seconds of silence, I heard someone call me from the kitchen. I jumped up in bed, the blanket falling to my stomach as my arm instinctively went out to find my blade. I mentally went through the events of the night before to make sure I had locked all the doors and windows. Maybe I had kept one unlocked... A moment went and the quiet stretched into infinity. I put the blade down, thinking that I must have imagined it when the voice called yet again. 

"Levi? I said get up, already. You're going to be late!" I let out a chuckle as I fell back again, my head hitting the pillow with a soft  _ thunk _ . 

"How did you get inside my house, Eren?" I called back. It was silent for a moment before her response. 

"I made you some food. Get out of bed." Rolling my eyes, I threw the covers off of my body, immediately feeling the cold air. I dragged myself out of bed and felt my stomach drop, furrowing my brows at the odd feeling. Quickly shaking my head, I put some pants on and headed into the kitchen to get some breakfast. 

As I walked into the room, I noticed several things. First and foremost, there was a beautiful stack of bacon sitting on the counter. Secondly, there was freshly squeezed orange juice on the table. Third, Eren was sitting on the counter, dressed in shorts and an old torn shirt. My face relaxed slightly and I let a smile creep up on me. I walked over to Eren and reached behind her to grab two plates. She gave me a playful salute and I smiled as I matched it. 

"You look awful," she chuckled, hopping down from the counter, swiftly grabbing a plate out of my hands. I felt a pout form on my lips as I gave myself a quick once-over. I didn't look  _ that _ bad. I was wearing a pair of tight pants and had forgotten to put on a shirt, but she couldn't mean my physical self looked awful, right? Eren was already at the bacon, tossing strips onto her plate as if she hadn't just knocked my ego down a peg. 

"I don't think I look too awful," I said, spreading my arms out. Eren looked over at me and sighed as she took my plate and began to serve me some bacon before she could take all of it. 

"I didn't mean you physically. You are very fit and are looking great," she shook her head at me, looking disappointed at the way I took her comment. I, on the other hand, was quite happy with her finally admitting that I was looking good. "I  _ meant _ -" she continued, getting my attention once again "-that you look tired." I nodded and grabbed my plate. That was fair. 

"I didn't sleep very well last night. It's nothing to worry about," I mumbled, preferring to not mention the odd feeling I felt upon getting up. Eren raised a brow, not wanting to end the conversation, but I expertly changed the topic as I led her to the table where she had placed the orange juice. "How do you feel about today's scouting mission?" I asked her. She grunted in response. 

I knew she didn't enjoy talking about the Titans with me around. To be honest, it was somewhat odd to be best friends with someone I was in charge of, but it must be hell for her. Her best friend spent the workday barking out orders to her and her friends. But I was the Captain. I couldn't show favoritism.

She fell in the chair closest to her, a few seats over from where her drink was placed. Not sure how to proceed, I slid her drink over to her before sliding my stuff to the seat next to hers. 

"I know you don't like it when we talk about this. If you want we can-" I started, trying to cheer her up. I didn't think bringing up the mission today would bring her down this much, but I hated seeing her upset. Before I could finish, however, she cut me off. 

"What if I don't come back today?" I felt my jaw drop at her bluntness. Sadly, I was used to disturbing questions like these from the new recruits. But Eren was always one who saw the risk as an opportunity. It was shocking to hear such pain and uncertainty from her. 

"You know I'm always there for you. I'll make sure you come home safe," I said, trying to calm her down. She shook her head and looked up to lock eyes with me. I felt my breath hitch when I saw tears in hers.

"You won't always be there for me, Levi. If someone is injured, they'll call you away. I know I can't always rely on you to keep me safe, but I have a terrible feeling about today," she said, her voice fading as she finished. I open my mouth, wanting to say something to prove to her that I'll make sure she's safe, but I know that she's right. If someone gets injured, Petra and I will be the first to be called away to tend to them.

"You can always rely on me. I don't care what anyone else says. I will always be there for you, and if I'm called away, I'll send someone else to watch your back. No one should be on their own out there, no matter how independent they think they are." She gave a curt nod and wiped the tears off her cheek. 

"You must think I'm weak, now, huh?" Eren asked softly, taking a bite of a strip of bacon. I snorted, picking up a piece of my own. 

"I'd be an idiot to think such a thing of you," I replied, smiling to myself when she giggled. 

"How about you, how do you feel about the mission today?" she sniffed. I thought back to the odd feeling earlier and looked at my best friend. I caught myself wondering what would happen outside the walls. Quickly putting any negative thoughts in the back of my mind, I took another bite and feigned a smile. 

"I think it'll go fine," I answered earning a nod from Eren. Not sure what to talk about, we simply spent the next few minutes in a comfortable silence.


	3. Heading Home

I couldn't help but watch Levi with curiosity as he tore a piece of bacon in half, giving it a freakishly intense glare as he did so. I looked down at my own plate, which was almost empty, before looking at Levi's. His plate was still rather full considering his love of the food. My mind kept reliving the conversation we'd had a few moments prior, and I couldn't help but wonder if I had somehow ruined his mood. 

Deciding I should test it, I reached over to his plate and slowly grabbed a piece of bacon and brought it up to my mouth. I was tempted to put it back, but he wasn't going to stop me from eating it, so I took a bite before questioning his mood. 

"Are you okay?" I asked him. The intensity of his glare shifted to me once I gained his attention and I pursed my lips. He nodded shortly and raised an eyebrow. 

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" he responded, returning his attention to the bacon as he took a bite. I looked down to hide the smirk that had appeared on my face. 

"Because I just stole a piece of bacon, and you didn't slap my hand away from your plate," I said, taking a small bite. He drew his lips together in a tight smile. I reached down and tossed a piece from my plate to his to replace the strip I stole and his hands fell to the table. "Plus you said you didn't sleep well last night," I added. 

Levi dropped his bacon on his plate and met my eyes, his intensity fading into a calm sadness. "When I got up this morning, I had a weird feeling. Then you asked if you were going to die out there, and it didn't exactly calm my nerves. What if something happens to you, today?" I reached out to him, encasing his trembling hand in my own. 

"It was a moment of weakness. Nothing is going to happen. To either of us," I said. I felt his shaking stop and I smiled at him. "Besides, you're still Captain. You can't show fear in front of everyone out there. Especially not Petra." Levi rolled his eyes playfully and I backed away, finishing off the few strips I had left before promptly jumping out of my chair. 

"Where are you going?" Levi asked me, causing me to turn on my heel, once again giving a playful salute. 

"You don't expect me to go outside the walls in this, do you?" I responded. I noticed him smirk before I turned around once again. 

"Wait, what about the-" before he could ask for my help with the dishes, I closed the door behind me, chuckling as I returned his house key underneath a stone on his windowsill. I saw him through the window and gave him a small wave when he stuck his tongue out at me. I started down the street, small shivers running down my back at the cool breeze. I wrapped my arms around myself to preserve heat.

A few houses down, I found myself staring at the wall. Memories flooded over me as I remembered the first encounter I'd had with the Titans. That had been the reason I chose to fight the beasts. If it hadn't been for Armin, Mikasa, and Levi, I'd probably have died out there long ago. I sighed and shook my head at my meltdown during breakfast. Training had turned me into a warrior. There was no way I was going to let a simple meltdown destroy years of training and hardships. 

Mikasa was already standing outside when I arrived home. I had shared a home with Mikasa for as long as I could remember, and ever since the incident, we'd gotten even closer. She stood with her arms crossed, as she watched me walk over to the porch. Her lips were pursed and I winced slightly at her angry expression. 

She raised her hand and it came down on my exposed arm. I pouted slightly at the sting and looked down at the red mark that was already starting to form.

"That wasn't really necessary," I mumbled to her. She grunted.

"You were gone when we woke up. I was worried about you." I looked towards the door for a brief moment before returning my glance to her. 

"Look, I'm sorry but I didn't feel like staying inside all morning. I went to go visit Levi," I said. Her expression shifted to one that almost matched pity, but she grabbed my arm and dragged me inside before I could truly identify it.

I noticed Armin immediately, his mind seemingly hard at work as he scribbled in a small leather book. I had always wanted to ask him what he wrote inside that book, but I was constantly nervous about being shut down. A while ago, I simply chalked it up to either being a journal or a book that he was writing. Either way, I wanted, more than anything, to read what was inside. 

I had heard Marco before I saw him. I was caught a bit off guard seeing him in my house rather than Jean's, but I wasn't one to complain when a friend showed up. He kept asking Armin simple questions, as if trying to spark a conversation but was met with quick, one-word answers before silence would fill the room once again. I felt kind of bad for the guy. 

Upon my entrance to the room, or to be more accurate, upon the sound of Mikasa kicking the door in as she led me inside, Marco stopped mid-sentence to look at us, causing Armin to glance up at the lack of sound. I chuckled slightly, ripping my arm out of Mikasa's hand, quickly plopping down into the seat next to Marco. I noticed Armin put the book away as Mikasa took a seat next to him. I saw Marco and Armin both giving me an unsure glance when they saw my outfit before turning to Mikasa. 

"She isn't going to wear that outside the walls, is she?" Armin asked, ignoring the drop of my jaw upon directing his question to Mikasa instead of me. Mikasa shook her head in disappointment. 

"I'm right here," I said in protest. 

"I sincerely hope not. Knowing her, I don't even know if her gear is clean," she said. I scoffed.

"Of course it's clean, I'm not a slob," I reasoned. Marco shook his head, disgust evident on his face. 

"Does she really not clean her gear? What about the blood?" Mikasa shrugged and I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms. 

"The blood is the main reason that I  _ do _ clean my gear," I mumbled. Armin and Mikasa shared a glance before looking back at me. Marco bit back a laugh when he saw my pout. "How do you guys feel about the mission today?" I asked, the irritated tone sadly evident in my monotone voice. Both Armin and Mikasa shrugged, both relatively ready, but my eyes were locked on Marco, who had gone quiet. 

"I feel like something terrible is going to happen, today," he said, causing Armin to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, earning a thankful nod. "What if I don't come back?" My jaw tightened as I locked eyes with Mikasa. She was always the one that would have to calm me and Armin down back when we had first joined the military, and for a second I wished I could direct the question at her. With a short glance, however, I knew that she wouldn't let me. Marco was asking me for comfort and reassurance. I couldn't just let him down. 

Reaching over, I grabbed onto both of his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes. "Marco, if you die today, I'm going to kill you." I saw Mikasa's hand meet her face in an act of disappointment at my comment, but Marco didn't seem to mind it. 

"You're an idiot," Armin said, pulling his book out as he began scribbling once again. I shrugged and turned to Mikasa. 

"I'm going to go get dressed," I stated. I thought for a second before adding, "into my  _ clean _ gear." Marco and Mikasa laughed, bringing a confused Armin out of his daze. 


	4. The Mission

I walked down the hallway, giving my kitchen a quick glance. I felt annoyance towards my best friend for leaving the dishes for me to clean up. I let out a soft sigh, remembering that she had made me breakfast. It was only fair that I had done the dishes. My hand fell onto the handle of my blade to rest and I felt myself deflate slightly, my bad feeling going away now that I was in my gear. It was odd, but my gear had become battle armor. 

I walked outside my house, locking the door behind me and made my way around to the stable. My horse was kicking up dirt, almost impatient for my arrival. She saw me and stopped, letting out a soft whinny as she made her way towards me. I smiled when we met, and I stroked her rough mane, making a mental note to brush it when I came back. I hopped up on a nearby box, feeling a small sense of insecurity at my height. Quickly swinging my leg over, I sat down nicely on the saddle I had set up the night before and gave her sides a soft kick. 

I allowed my mind to wander as we made our way to the barracks. Every now and then, I would feel guilty about being given a house while other members of the military were stuck in the barracks, but Eren always helped make it clear that I had earned my house, while others haven't yet. Not very many were still stuck in the barracks, though. The only people that were still there were Erwin, Sasha, and Connie, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Sasha was only there for Connie. 

My eyes drifted to the wall as I got closer to it. I felt determination well up in my chest as I thought about all the Titans that had taken up residency outside the walls. A hatred burned inside me that I didn't think would ever get extinguished. The world that had once been made for us... belonged to the beasts that didn't know how to appreciate it. I remember Eren sadly telling me of the dreams that Armin had: seeing the oceans and the long-forgotten ruins. I couldn't help but wonder how many others felt the way Armin did and were just too afraid to say anything. 

The sound of my horse slowing down brought my attention back to the matter at hand: getting down. I led her into the stable where a large pile of hay stood. I pursed my lips and looked around, making sure no one was around to see before flinging myself into the hay. It wasn't as soft a landing as I had hoped, but at least it hadn't been the ground. 

Soft laughter caused me to snap my head towards the entrance of the stable. Eren was trying to cover up the sound as best she could, but I could tell it was difficult. 

"You look so cute down there, you know?" she said happily. I grunted before finding my way up. Sadly, it took a few tries, and I most likely looked like a beetle that had gotten stuck on it's back. 

"Someone got rid of the damned box. I had to get down somehow," I murmured. Eren nodded sympathetically before smiling once again. She walked past me to tie up my horse, before saying, "You should go say good morning to Petra; she's a little anxious about today's mission." I cocked my head slightly. Petra was nervous, too? 

"You aren't nervous anymore, right?" I asked her. She turned around to look at me, and she gave a reassuring smile. 

"I'm all good," there was a second of silence before she added, "Now go talk to your girlfriend." I chuckled and nodded, heading towards a large group of people a little ways away. Petra was a little ways off, closer to me than the rest of them, and I jogged to reach her, placing a hand on her back when I did. She jumped slightly at my touch, and I saw a slight tear slip down her cheek. 

"Are you okay?" I whispered, given as the rest of the group was still close enough to hear me if I spoke at full volume. She shook her head. 

"This whole scouting mission is to find Ymir. What if we find her corpse?" I tried to answer before she cut me off, meaningfully whispering, "What if we don't find  _ anything _ ?" My lips formed a slight frown at the thought and I shook my head. Petra was one of our best soldiers, but she was also one of the best under pressure, making her an amazing impromptu medic. Her mind was most likely racing with ideas of what could have become of Ymir in the few days she was alone outside the walls.

"She's tough. A lot tougher than most of the people here," I said, gesturing towards the group. I felt Petra nod at my observation. "She's going to be okay when we find her. You'll only have to tend to minor bumps and bruises." I wasn't sure how she'd take my words, but I hoped It would be positive. I couldn't have her mind be elsewhere when a Titan appeared. She planted a soft kiss on my cheek before wiping her own, and I felt Eren jog up to the rest of us. 

Eren called out to the team, and they snapped their attention to her, before quickly finding me. They gave me a salute and I smirked before giving it back to them. "Are we ready?" I yelled to them, causing a few in front to flinch.

Without hesitation, the group yelled back a loud, "Yes!" I nodded and led them to the wall. I smiled softly as we took off into the sky, one-by-one. I had always loved the feeling of being in the air. I heard a tree creak from pressure, and my eyes snapped over to the sound. A Titan was making his way towards us, a large annoying smile on its haunting face. My face contorted into an expression of disgust as I raced over to it. I scanned around my group for anymore Titans before I locked onto the nape of the beast's neck. 

I readied my weapon, and sliced, taking a chunk of flesh out of its neck and smirked to myself as it collapsed. I fell to the ground beside it and gave myself a chance to really scan the area. A scowl appeared on my face as I realized that a horde of Titans was coming to surround me. I saw a few soldiers coming up to take them down, but there were too many for just a few people to take on, and the rest were out looking for Ymir. I grunted and took off, managing to slice up the neck of one Titan before I saw a hand reaching for me. Fortunately, I dodged before it could grab me. 

Unfortunately, the hand rammed itself hard into my skull, knocking me to the side. 

I heard someone call out for me, but everything was already fading out. The last thing I remembered was the feeling of being picked up and the sound of the equipment as someone took me to a secluded spot. 

I woke up in the middle of the forest, my head throbbing dully. I noticed the back of Armin's head speed away from me as I regained consciousness, and I nodded to myself, trying to figure out what had happened. Deciding it was better to act rather than think, I stood slowly, nervous about the oncoming headache. I swayed slightly but quickly regained my composure. I took off into the sky once again, searching for the group of Titans that had knocked me down, but they were gone. Landing in a circle of trees, I started running through the forest, deciding to search on foot to save my fuel. 

Hearing a loud shout, I abandoned the thought of conservation and immediately took off to find the source of the yell. I found Eren a little ways away stuck in the hand of a Titan. I reached for my blade, fully willing to chop through the Titan's wrist to save Eren, but as I raced towards her, I realized it was too late. I had been too far away. I saw the Titan bring Eren up to its mouth and time seemed to slow. I moved as fast as I could, but it was all for nothing as the Titan snapped its jaw around Eren's torso. I let out a blood-curdling scream as I sliced through the Titan's neck, catching what was left of Eren as her body fell. 

I felt my body go numb when I landed, and my knees gave out from under me as I fell. I didn't feel the tears, but I heard my sobs. A loud  _ crunch _ brought me out of my stupor and my body rose to counter the Titan that was approaching. I gave Eren's body one last look as I took off, one more time, into the sky, aiming for the Titan's weak point. 


	5. A Hospital Bed

I felt my fists clench as I stared down at my injured best friend. Levi was tossing and turning, letting out sounds of pure sadness and hatred. I let out a breath, trying to stay calm as I watched Petra do the same on the other side of his bed. He had been surrounded by Titans when I found him, and I had done my best to protect him while Jean pulled him to safety. Petra had been busy looking for Ymir, so I had taken care of him until she could return. I watched as Levi began to sweat, and I quickly reached for the towel that I had left in a bowl of cold water. 

"Petra, take the cloth off of his forehead," I instructed her. She looked at what I was doing and quickly understood, taking the cloth and wringing it out in a bowl of her own. I squeezed out excess water and replaced the old cloth with my new one. As I did so, he let out a gut-wrenching scream and I ground my teeth to keep from yelling out in surprise. I covered my ears to block the sound and tears started to cloud my vision upon hearing his pain. 

Suddenly the noise stopped. I blinked away the tears and looked over at his bed. Levi was sitting up in bed, his arms shaking as he balled up the sheets in his fist. I heard him mumble something, but I couldn't tell what it was. Petra snapped out of the daze before I could, quickly moving to sit on the bed. 

"Levi," she said softly, taking one of his hands in hers trying to calm him down. His eyes snapped open and he searched the room, confusion evident on his face. 

"You were taken out by a Titan. Jean brought you here as soon as he could," I said, trying to bring him up to speed. His eyes widened as he looked over at me, and I noticed relief fill his features. I continued, "Petra found Ymir. She was mostly fine, but she was starving and one of her arms was broken." I thought he had ignored me as he analyzed my face and arms. 

"Where is she?" he asked me as if he could read my thoughts. I pointed towards another bed in the infirmary where Krista was sitting. He nodded and turned his attention back towards Petra, almost as if he had just remembered that she was there. 

"So it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be?" he asked her, causing her to give a small smile. I felt my brows furrow, not fully able to comprehend how he could have fallen by the hands of a Titan. He was the strongest person I knew. Was he really defeated that easily?

"What happened out there?" I asked him, trying to figure out the events prior to his blackout. He grimaced.

"I'm not entirely sure. I couldn't let the Titans get to the rest of you for the sake of the mission, so I tried to take them down. I don't remember much else after seeing the first Titan," he said. Petra's hand raised to cup his cheek in a comforting act, and I nodded, adopting his story into my own knowledge of the events earlier that day. 

"You should go check on Krista and Ymir," he said, directing his attention to me. My gaze shifted to Krista on the other side of the room, and I nodded. I gave Levi's arm a squeeze before walking over.

Krista sat straight up in her chair, bags under her eyes and tears stained her cheeks. I couldn't tell if the tears were from sadness from seeing Ymir in her current state or happiness from finding her. I knelt down to match her level and looked over Ymir in her infirmary bed. Her left arm in a sling, she had a variety of cuts and scratches along her body. 

"How is she doing?" I asked. 

"She hasn't woken up, yet. They think that she may have eaten something poisonous," Krista responded, her eyes still trained on Ymir. I felt a drop of water hit my hand and I looked up to see Krista crying. 

"She's going to be okay," I said, my tone filled with a type of confidence that I did not have. Krista nodded slowly.

"I have so much to tell her," she said. 

"And you will." Krista sniffed and wiped her eyes. She tore her eyes away from Ymir and looked towards Levi and Petra. I followed her eyes and noticed Petra walking over to me. "I think she wants you," Krista said softly. I nodded and stood up, giving Petra a questioning look. She grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. My gaze shifted to Levi, part of me thinking that something was wrong. However, all I saw was Levi chuckling softly, holding onto his shoulder and side. 

"What's going on, Petra?" I asked her, curious about what could have happened in the few moments I was gone. She looked at her feet, clasping her hands in front of her. 

"Levi needs to bathe," she said. My face went blank, unsure of why she was telling me this. She looked up at me and cleared her throat. "I still haven't- I mean you've seen more of him than... me." I felt my eyes widen as I started to understand. 

"You want me to bathe him?" I questioned. She slowly nodded. I let out a slow breath before looking back at Levi. My mind went to work trying to figure out the best way to wash him without seeing too much. Giving Petra a short nod, I watched her walk back over to Levi, giving him a sweet peck on the lips before getting her stuff together. I let out a low groan before making my way towards Levi's bed. 

He gave me a warm smile, almost making me forget that I had just signed up to give him a bath. Almost. 

"How do you feel?" I asked, trying to delay the inevitable. He looked down at his scratched up torso before raised an eyebrow at me. 

"I've been better," he said. "Did Petra ask you something?" My eyes narrowed at him as he held back a smirk. I was tempted to run and grab a medic to do it, instead of me, but another part of me legitimately wanted to help. 

"She told me you needed to be cleaned up. I assume it's to keep the injuries clean," I started. He looked down at the sheets for a split second before meeting my eyes once again and I saw the remnants of a smile. "Do you really need help bathing though?"

Giving me a knowing look, he slowly said, "No. I don't need help bathing. I knew Petra wouldn't do it, and I need her to handle the people that may have been injured out there." I nodded, looking him up and down. 

"Do you need help with anything else?" I asked him, gesturing to his bandages. He shook his head, already moving to get out of the bed. Instinctively, I moved to help him up, but he waved me away. 

"I can walk on my own," he said, curtly. I crossed my arms, following him towards the bathroom, just in case. I knew he couldn't reach the bandages on his back, especially with an injured shoulder, but I knew that occasionally he felt the need to prove himself. I simply waited for him to realize that he may need help.

He closed the door behind him, so I leaned against the door frame, taking the opportunity to take a look around. I had always hated the infirmary. The smell of sickness wafting its way through every vent and hallway. The deaths that had occurred when the medics were doing nothing more than trying to save lives. I'd never known anyone who liked the infirmary, but being a part of the military meant that I had to become quite acquainted with it. I knew every wing and knew the names of over half the medics. 

A young girl - most likely a nurse - walked over to Krista and started talking to her, probably telling her that she had to go home. I saw Krista nod before standing, giving Ymir's forehead a soft kiss before walking out.  
  
The door behind me opened, bringing my attention back to the bathroom. Levi stood there, a towel wrapped around his waist and annoyance filling his features. I raised a brow at him, waiting for him to finally ask for my help. He rolled his eyes.

"I can't remove the bandages on my own," he grunted. I smiled.  
  
"And...?" Levi's eyes met the floor. 

"And I need your help." I nodded and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. 


	6. Who You Wish to Be

I woke up to someone lightly shaking me awake. I turned over, opening one eye to identify whoever it was that was disturbing my night of rest. The sun hadn't risen yet, so I glanced around to get used to the darkness that overcame me. After a couple seconds, I glanced back towards the person that had awoken me. I couldn't see full characteristics, but I recognized the specific blonde hair. 

"Petra?" I croaked out, my body still tired. I looked past her to a chair next to my bed and noticed a sleeping Eren. Her head was resting in her palm and her hair fell over her face. Thankfulness spread throughout my chest when I realized that she had most likely refused to leave when visiting hours ended. Petra gained my attention once again when she spoke. 

"I need your help with the horses. They won't quiet down and it's causing complaints in the barracks," she pleaded. I still couldn't see clearly, but I could see the desperation in her eyes. I gave a quick nod and allowed her to help me to my feet, too tired to do it on my own. A dull throbbing began in my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to bear with it. Part of me felt guilty for leaving Eren behind, but if I knew her, she wouldn't wake up for another few hours. 

Petra led me through the seemingly endless hallways of the infirmary. I felt myself begin to crave the dreamless sleep that Petra had interrupted and debated whether or not getting up was actually worth it. After all, who cares if the soldiers in the barracks get a good night's sleep if I'm deprived of one? Letting out a soft sigh, I shook the thoughts from my head, knowing that Petra would be disappointed if I didn't try to help. 

She opened the main doors and I felt a refreshing cold wind through my hair. I held my hand out to her, motioning that I wanted to stop, and she thankfully understood, sitting me down on the steps. 

"I'm sorry for waking you up," she apologized. I kept my mouth shut, figuring that she meant the apology in a rhetorical sense. Instead, I changed the subject.

"How was the rest of your day, yesterday?" Petra met my eyes, the moon causing her face to glow. 

"I told everyone that you were okay, and handed it off to Krista to explain Ymir's state. I figured she was the best person to tell them, you know... considering," she said, her voice fading at the very end. I understood her decision perfectly. Krista and Ymir had a relationship I couldn't figure out, yet, but I knew that they cared for each other. Probably more than any pair I'd seen in my life. 

Petra sighed softly, resting her head in her palms. "What is it?" I asked her, careful not to let tiredness take the form of irritation in my tone. I watched as nervousness took over as she bit her bottom lip, turning away to face directly in front of her. 

"I can't afford distractions," she replied. I furrowed my brows, already knowing what was to come. Hoping for some specification as to why, though, I decided to ask for some clarification.

"Distractions?" I said simply. She brought her knees closer to her chest. 

"I'm being considered to become a Captain of the newer recruits. They say that there are even more wanting to join than last year, and they need some new leaders. I just- I mean, I don't like saying it. I just can't afford distractions," she explained. I felt my chest constrict with conflicting ideas. I was happy for her for being considered to becoming Captain, but that meant...

"I'm your distraction, right?" I asked. She was silent for a second before nodding slowly. I matched her movements with an understanding nod of my own. "You have to get that position, no matter the cost," I said, earning a surprised gasp from Petra. 

"Really?" I scoffed, incredulously. 

"Petra, you're one of my best soldiers: loyal, fast on your feet, intelligent. Anyone would be stupid to not put you in charge, and I pity those that aren't put under your leadership," I said. She giggled softly, her eyes sparkling with a combination of newborn confidence and tears. I swallowed, finding the next part a bit more difficult to say out loud. "It's for that reason that I understand why this can't continue. If you're distracted and something happens, any chance you'll have at becoming Captain will be gone. You chose the path that will help you grow the most. I can't be angry at that."

Petra nodded, throwing her arms around my neck in a thankful gesture. My lips drew together into a tight smile as I wrapped my arms around her. We separated and she gave my cheek a soft peck. I watched as she stood and took a step forward. 

"I'm sorry for bringing you out here," she said, turning to face me. I had assumed the horses had been an excuse when she sat us down on the steps, but I leaned back on my elbows in mock surprise. 

"You mean you lied about the horses?" I gasped. She gave a sheepish smile before looking behind me. 

"Hey, Eren," she called out, somehow still remaining quiet. I turned and saw Eren walk through the doors behind me, an uncomfortable expression locked on her face. I turned and smiled at Petra, relieved that she knew me as well as she did. "Take him inside, will you?" 

"That's what I'm here for," she said from behind me. Petra gave me a weak salute before turning away to return to the barracks for the night. I heard Eren's footsteps approach me and I turned slightly to make eye contact with her when she sat down. 

"How?" I asked simply, hoping she'd know what I was trying to ask. 

"Petra woke me before she woke you: told me that you might need someone to take you back inside. I didn't feel like questioning it, I just waited for you two to leave and followed you," she gave me an awkward glance before adding, "but I figured I should give you space, so I stayed inside. I didn't hear anything." I let out a low grumble of a laugh, too tired and upset to manage real laughter. 

"I just can't believe that happened..." I said, slowly. Still not sure whether I was more upset about the events or happy for her opportunity. Eren nodded, looking up at the sky. 

"I didn't think she'd end it, you know?" she asked. I raised an eyebrow at her and her face paled in realization. She flashed me a timid smile. "I think I may have - possibly - heard some of it." I nodded, a small smile appearing on my face as I gestured for her to rise. 

"Just help me inside, please? I'm too tired to comprehend all of this right now," I said. Eren released a short  _ hmm _ sound and stood, grabbing my good arm to help me up. I fell into her slightly and flinched, but was pleasantly surprised to realize that she had caught the entirety of my body weight perfectly. She seemed to think the same thing as she hummed in satisfaction, bringing my arms around her neck as she led me up the stairs and into the big main doors. 


	7. A Dream Wedding

I sat up against the windowsill, my eyes switching from Levi's bed to Ymir's, then back again. I was one of the few people that they didn't mind still in the infirmary, so Krista had asked me to keep an eye out to make sure Ymir's condition didn't get worse. A few days ago, one of the medics had stayed with me through the night to keep me company before leaving for an emergency with one of our soldiers. 

My eyes went back to Levi's bed and I grimaced, getting up and walking over to him. I hated seeing him in this way. As I looked over his bandaged wounds, I couldn't help but feel guilt well up inside my chest. I couldn't count the number of times I had relived that day, imagining the ways I could have kept him safe. I should've been there for him. The words he spoke to me before the mission haunted me in my sleep: 'No one should be on their own out there'.

I sighed and sat down, hearing a small  _ squeak _ come from the chair beneath me. I flinched slightly at the sudden sound, my eyes searching for any sign that I had woken Levi up. He did need his rest, after all. I waited a few seconds before being satisfied with his lack of movement and leaned down to rest my chin in my hand. I felt my eyelids begin to become heavy and I shifted in my seat to get more comfortable. I wasn't sure how much time passed after that, but it couldn't have been long until I felt my consciousness slip away from me. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I looked around at the table I was sitting at. Mikasa sat on my right and Armin's coat was draped over the chair to my left. Trying to get a good idea of where I was, I looked down at how I was dressed. I was wearing a strapless red dress ending around my mid-thigh. A short-sleeved red cardigan covered my shoulders and tied around my upper chest. 

I glanced up at the table I was sitting at. A light blue table cloth covered the round table, and a woman was coming around to pick up small dessert plates. There was a beautiful bouquet acting as a centerpiece: white daisies, gardenias and white roses surrounded by purple forget-me-nots and pink geraniums. I fought the desire to reach over and smell the assortment of flowers and instead focused on the event around me. 

Turning around in my seat, I found Armin on some sort of dance floor, his hand on a girl's waist. Sadly, Mikasa pulled my attention away before I could identify who he was dancing with. 

"Are you okay, Eren?" she asked me. I nodded. I wasn't sure exactly where I was, but I could tell that it was a happy event. 

A loud clinking sound snapped my eyes towards a large table at the front of the room. Levi was sitting in one of the chairs, his head against his hand in a way that almost made him look bored. My eyes moved slightly upwards and saw Petra holding a champagne glass and a fork. My heart swelled with happiness for the two of them. 

"I think the tossing of the flowers is happening, soon," Armin whispered to me as he returned to his seat. I gave him a sideways look, wishing I had time to ask him who he was dancing with, but quickly returned my attention to the couple up front. 

"Thank you all for being here," Petra started, a giddy smile on her face. "If you'll please make your way to the garden, we'll be tossing the flowers and garter in a few moments." I practically felt Armin's proud smile behind me as we stood to follow the crowd towards the garden. I grabbed my bag from my chair and slipped it up to my shoulder as Mikasa practically dragged me through the crowd. 

I felt a hand land on my lower back and I turned in surprise, seeing Levi grinning at me. "Are you having a good time?" he asked me, beginning to make his way through the group with us. In the back of my mind, I felt Mikasa's hand disconnect from my arm, but I was too focused on trying not to get run over by the stampede of people. 

"Absolutely," I responded. I wasn't sure why I had said anything, given I hadn't technically been present at the ceremony. My mouth wasn't done talking, though. "I almost cried when I saw Petra walk up in that dress." Levi nodded, his smile staying consistent as I spoke. I took a short breath, trying to get control over what I was saying.

"I could do with a few things changed," he said, glancing around at the decorations. I thought I saw him glance towards a group of people, but his eyes were on me again before I could be sure. 

"The garter and flowers weren't your ideas, then?" I asked him. His smile shifted into a grimace as he gave me a slightly irritated look, causing me to laugh. 

"What's so funny?" Mikasa shouted over the excited shouts around us. I turned back to where Levi had stood mere seconds ago, but found nothing. Confused, I turned back towards my step-sister and shook my head to brush her question off. I don't think she cared much for the answer as she quickly turned away from me to look at Petra and Levi on the stage.

Levi was already holding up the garter, almost as if it were a prize as he called for all the single men to crowd together on the floor. Mikasa blocked my vision, but I noticed Armin walk up to the group and crossed my fingers for him. I heard a loud synchronized grunt in frustration before a single guy yelled out happily. Armin returned, the garter awkwardly balled up in his hand.

"I feel odd carrying this around," he said, giving me a funny look. I bit back a snarky remark and waited for Petra to call for the single women.

She waited for the men to clear the floor and shouted out a simple, "Come on!" I heard laughter as I pushed my way past my sister. I looked up to the stage and saw Petra already getting in position, her backs to us as she readied herself, taking small glances behind her to make sure everyone was ready. I felt a strange pull in my chest as she let the flowers go, heading straight for me. 


	8. Surprises?

When I woke up, the light in the infirmary was still dim. My eyes drifted towards the window to see the oranges and pinks of a sunrise. 

"Hey, what are you doing awake?" I heard a voice say to my left. I turned to face the voice and grimaced as my weight shifted to my injured side. A hand went to my arm almost as soon as the pain showed in my expression and I felt appreciation swell in my chest. I opened my eyes and was met with a familiar face scrunched up with worry.

"I'm okay," I breathed out. She nodded, and with hesitation, went back to tie her shoe. I pulled myself up so my back was against the wall and simply watched her, still trying to wake up. I saw her head turn for a moment, and I followed her line of vision to Ymir. She was still lying in the bed, her condition relatively unchanged. I let out a low breath. 

"How are you feeling?" Eren asked me, bringing my attention back to her. I felt my hand drift up to my shoulder as if to test the pain.

"Better," I said in reply. "Probably shouldn't be doing any hard labor, though." Eren gave a soft chuckle before standing. My eyes followed her to the windowsill where the grabbed a sweater and pulled it on. "Where are you going?" 

"I was going to get a fresh set of clothes and shower," she said, pulling her hair free of the sweater. I nodded slowly, freeing myself from the blankets and pulling myself out of the bed. 

"Can I come?" I asked her, leaning against the wall. I mentally cursed myself for needing so much support. Damn those medics for making me stay in bed. I needed to be walking around; my legs needed the exercise. Eren came over to me, keeping her hands in her sweater pockets, giving me time to get my bearings.

"You want to come and help me get a set of clothes?" she responded quizzically. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch slightly as I shook my head. 

"I just need to get out of here." Eren looked me up and down and let out a short huff before nodding. She led me towards the exit, making expert turns through the labyrinth that was the infirmary hallways. I saw the large doors at the front of the building and shook her off of me, wanting to exit on my own. She held her hands up in a mock sign of surrender before opening the doors for me. 

Even though the sky wasn't as bright as it would've been during the day, contact with direct sunlight made my eyes sting. I looked down at the ground and made my way down the steps, and turned, waiting for Eren to do the same. She was still partially in the door, looking at something, or someone, quite intensely. Carefully, I leaned against the wooden railing of the steps and looked around. 

The shadows cast by the wall loomed over the barracks like a reaper over a funeral casket. I shuddered slightly at the darkness and turned my attention towards the houses. Mothers were already out in their yards, hanging clothes out to dry, and fathers were already on their way to work. I noted several young men dressed in their training gear as they raced towards the grounds. I snickered at their speed, trying to decide whether they were running out of eagerness or fear of their Chief Instructor.

"What's so funny?" Eren questioned as she hopped down the stairs. I pointed to the recruits that were in the process of practically tripping over themselves to reach the training grounds. Eren scoffed and gave my good shoulder a light punch. "Poor kids," she murmured. I shrugged, wincing at the tightness of my shoulder.

"How long have I been in there," I asked her as we started towards her house. She released a puff of air as she looked up, counting the days. Part of me was curious how long I had been unconscious the day I had been injured, but I assumed I could figure that out once I knew how long I had been in the infirmary.

"Jeez... Around four or five, I think," she answered, putting her hands in her pockets. I rolled my neck, annoyance filling every inch of my body. Four to five days I was stuck in that building. I should've been back at the barracks days ago for a briefing. Eren noticed my irritation and quickly changed the subject. "How did you sleep?"

"Not very well, I don't think," I said, thinking back about my night. "Did Petra really dump me last night, or was that some sort of dream," I inquired, hope finding its way into my heart. Maybe nothing happened and I simply dreamed the whole thing.

Eren shook her head, crushing any sense of faith that I had only moments before. I breathed out an angry 'great' before returning my attention to the path in front of me. Eren stayed quiet, probably knowing I would prefer to walk in silence and deal with the emotions on my own.

Muscle memory took over my body as we turned down Eren's street, the sun already up in the sky, sending heat waves into my back through the thin material I wore from the infirmary. I watched as Eren relentlessly pounded on her door until Mikasa threw it open.

"Gracious, woman!" Mikasa exclaimed. "You have a key!" I saw Eren attempt - and fail - to hide a laugh at Mikasa's expression, causing Mikasa to simply roll her eyes up to the ceiling, almost in a praying movement, as she stepped back to let us inside. I noticed her eyeing my infirmary gown and I pursed my lips.

"Hurry, will you?" I asked Eren quietly, almost pleading. She nodded and gave Mikasa a quick hug before racing up the stairs. Mikasa gave a short once-over, scanning my bandages, probably looking to see if blood had soaked through them. I stood in their living room, wishing I could simply go to my own house and get a change of clothes for myself, but instinct told me it would probably be a bad idea to try and go somewhere on my own in my condition.

"How are you feeling?" Mikasa asked, almost absentmindedly as she made her way to the kitchen. I walked over to their dining table and sat down.

"I've been better," I said, wiping their table of crumbs and scraps. I heard a snort from the kitchen and smirked.

Mikasa was one of the few people that I could stand. Her tough exterior reminded me of myself, and her strength in combat, as well as her fierce loyalty to her friends, made her a hell of a soldier. At the moment, however, I didn't care who was in my company. I just wanted to get home. 

When I heard water start running upstairs, I placed my head in my hands, groaning slightly. My eyes drifted closed for a second as I enjoyed my moment of peace outside the walls of the infirmary. However, my quiet time was rudely interrupted when a plate was dropped on the table in front of me. My eyes snapped open and down at the dish. I felt my stomach grumble as soon as I recognized it as eggs. Mikasa gave me a quick pat on the arm before turning towards the stairs. 

Helping myself to the meal she gave me, I quickly shoveled the food into my mouth, thankful for food that wasn't made by medics that didn't know how to cook. The door opened behind me and I froze, mid-bite, to see who had walked in. Noting the blonde hair, I gave a short wave to Armin before returning to the eggs. I vaguely noticed him walk over to the couch.

"What's up?" I asked once I cleared my mouth of the food. He glanced over as he fell backwards, giving me an odd look. 

"Eren's been asking me to help her these past few days," he said. I furrowed my brows, unsure of what he meant. Help her with what? He must have known what I was thinking based off of my expression, because he cocked his head. "Has she not told you?" I shook my head cautiously. 

"Told me what?" Armin shook his head. 

"If she hasn't told you, then she probably wants to surprise you. I'm not spoiling that," he said, causing me to raise an eyebrow. I hated surprised. Eren knew I hated surprises. Why would she organize a surprise for me? I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Looking over, I caught a glance of Eren, her hair still wet from the shower, but she'd pulled it up into a messy bun. She was wearing a fully green outfit: light green skirt, green t-shirt, and a green sweater over it. Long socks came up to just above her knees and she wore brown heeled boots. 

Quickly finishing off the plate of eggs, I stood and crossed the room to the door. She rolled her eyes playfully at my actions and gave Armin a quick hug. I found myself watching them as she whispered something in his ear. He nodded, giving her a warm smile before sending her towards me. She giggled as she opened the door, allowing me to walk out in front of her. 

"So..." I started, once the door was closed. She looked at me expectantly. "Armin says you have some sort of surprise for me?" She smiled and met my eyes as we walked. 

"Yes I do," she said in a sing-song voice. I pursed my lips. 

"That would be?" I prompted. She shook her head, grabbing my wrist and starting to pull me along. 

"Guess you'll have to find out, won't you?" she asked in response. We made our way to my house and I let out a low grumble, a low level of anxiety starting to make itself known. 


	9. Finally Back

Levi was dragging behind me, going agonizingly slow as I tried to pull him along. I had been careful to grab his good arm, and I knew that his arm and side had taken the brunt of the damage, so his legs weren't injured. Part of me knew that he was dragging because he wanted me to simply tell him the surprise I had planned. However, the rest of me was very adamant about watching him find out for himself. I had woken up at dawn every day since he was injured, and there was no way I was going to summarize all my hard work in a sentence. 

It felt odd to be outside with him after almost a week of him being stuck in the infirmary. Every time I had woken up over the past few days, it had taken me a moment to gather my bearings, constantly forgetting where I was and why. I could only imagine the frustration that Levi felt upon opening his eyes to see the torn wallpaper on the ceiling. 

Arriving at his patio, I quickly retrieved the key, shushing Levi's shouts of indignation from finding out how I got into his house the day of the mission. I unlocked and opened his door dramatically holding out my arms in a  _ voila  _ motion. His eyes shifted from me to the door, hesitant to go inside. I stood my ground, not wanting to give in before he could see. 

"Kill me now," he muttered to himself as he straightened up and walked in. I bit back a laugh and followed him in, closing the door behind me. He made his way to the living room, waiting for the jumping and shouting of people trying to surprise him...

...which never came. 

Levi turned to face me, obviously confused as I turned the corner. I made a short gesture to the living room, telling him to look around. His eyes narrowed as he examined the room and every  _ shiny _ surface. He froze for a split second, giving me an incredulous look before rushing into the kitchen. Giggling, I walked over to the couch and sat down. 

"Did you really clean my house?" he exclaimed from the kitchen. I beamed, happy that my work was noticed. 

"Yes, sir!" I shouted back, playfully. He turned the corner and faced me, appreciation lighting up his face. 

"You didn't even leave the infirmary... Did you have Armin do it for you?" he asked. I shook my head, somewhat offended that he could think that I would pawn work off to someone else. 

"Nope, Armin came with me to help," I said. At his confused expression, I clarified, "We woke up at dawn every morning. Did some light dusting, shined a few tables, then I was back by your bedside before you could even wake up." 

"You woke up at dawn?" he said blankly, his expression shifting from incredulous to all-out shocked. I nodded, trying not to laugh. "Every day?" Another nod. He lunged towards the couch, grabbing me into a large playful hug. The laughter came bubbling out of my throat as his tackle brought us rolling off the couch. Thankfully I was below him, so I wasn't too worried about accidentally putting weight on his injured shoulder in my landing. 

He gave me a look of pure appreciation and I smiled up at him, glad that cleaning his house had paid off. He wrapped his arms around me in a squeeze-the-breath-out-of-me hug and it took less than a second for me to return it, careful not to squeeze his side too hard. I was acutely aware of his arm underneath my lower back and I gave his back a quick pat to let him know I wanted to get up. 

"Glad you liked the surprise," I laughed, brushing myself off as he pulled me to my feet. He chortled, giving the room another look. 

"It's amazing," was all he said before falling on the couch. "Thank you." I smiled. 

"You are very welcome." Putting my hands on my hips, I looked around at the work Armin and I had done.

Armin had been extremely helpful in the past few days. When I had initially told him of Levi's injury, his first reaction had been to ask me if I needed help with anything rather than immediately ask for an update on Levi's condition. At first, I thought it had been rude to ask about me, but the longer Levi had been in the infirmary, the more I understood why. 

Having my best friend injured in the field had been awful for everyone involved. It was the reason Levi had been quiet and upset, the reason I had tried so hard to keep my mind off of it, and the reason that Petra and Levi split. One of the things that made the military so hopeful was our belief that we really could fix everything. Bring the world back to how it was before the Titans took over. Seeing someone I cared about lying at the foot of the beast had destroyed my hope for days. If they could take down our best soldier... what hope did the rest of us have?

I had gotten closer to Armin the longer Levi was stuck in the infirmary, whether it be cleaning the house with me or simply being there for me when Levi's injuries became too much for me. He had helped keep my mind off of Levi and helped me find peace when the darkness was overwhelming me. I hadn't expected Armin to agree to help with the cleaning when I had asked him. It was probably a sympathetic gesture, right?

"I'm going to change out of this... gown," Levi said, heading towards his bedroom. I nodded and took his spot on the couch, already making myself comfortable. 

"Sounds good," I replied, giving him a thumbs up. There was silence for a minute and I turned my head, thinking he had already gone into his room but was surprised to see his back. "You okay?" 

He slowly turned, his head down and his hands clenching balls of his infirmary gown in fists. "Would you mind helping me?" He mumbled, obviously irritated that he couldn't do it on his own. 

"Of course not," I said, my tone laced with both amusement and pity for the poor man standing in the hallway. Unfortunately, he could tell that I was amused with his current situation and I saw him grind his teeth as he turned away. 

He must have thought I was out of earshot, or maybe he just didn't care if I heard when he muttered, "Brat..." I laughed as I caught up to him, linking my arm through his. 


	10. A Sudden Recovery

I couldn't help but smile as I fully examined the rest of the house. Even I could tell how hard they had worked to keep the house clean, and it was hard for me to believe that they had done all of it for me. Over the few days I had been in the infirmary, I could see myself becoming angrier and more distant towards Eren and the nurses. Seeing how much she cared even when I was being an ass made guilt swell up in my throat.

That was the one thing that had always piqued my interest when it came to Eren, even after all this time knowing her. No matter how many awful experiences she'd been through, or how horrid someone was treating her, she worked her hardest to keep a brave face on, showing just enough kindness to everyone around her. I'd always despised the people that would mistreat Eren, and it felt even worse to know that I had been one of those people over the past few days. Especially this morning...

I entered my bedroom, noticing the way my comforter was tucked perfectly underneath the mattress and chuckled, quickly collapsing on the soft surface. I relived the moments after she confirmed my suspicions about Petra. Thinking back on it, I knew I had been grumpy afterward, and I knew I had been quiet. Eren must have been so uncomfortable having to walk in that awful silence with me. I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, angry at myself for putting her through that, especially after everything she had done for me during my recovery.

A loud banging on my front door caused me to stand, jumping slightly at the sudden noise. I grimaced at my shock as I made my way towards the entryway. Opening the door, I had little to no time to even greet the girl on my step.

"Stop everything you're doing, shut up, and follow me," Eren said, sounding out of breath. I huffed, not sure what was happening but not liking being told to shut up. Especially since I hadn't even said anything yet. Nevertheless, I followed Eren out the door, struggling to keep up as she started to sprint. It shouldn't have been hard to keep pace with her, but given the fact that I hadn't walked in days probably put a damper on how fast I could go.

We turned the corner and I faltered for a second when I realized Eren was taking me to the infirmary. Why were we coming back here? Was she trying to get me re-admitted? No... that can't be it, otherwise, she wouldn't be making me run. I noticed the door swinging closed and realized that Eren was already inside. I braced myself for whatever she was doing and followed her inside.

"You must be here for Ymir, as well," the man at the front said, his voice caught off guard. I looked around, out of breath, as I simply nodded, understanding the urgency in Eren's tone from before. He waved me away and I made my way through the endless hallways, once again, and entered a room full of people. It was relatively silent, save for the strained voice from the center of it all.

"-twenty-six of them!" the voice said, proudly. A soft chuckle sounded and I smiled. Ymir was awake. That meant that she was okay.

"Twenty-six?" I asked, making my way towards the group that was quickly making a path for me. Ymir beamed at me.

"Yep! Twenty-six. I would've gotten more of those abominations if I hadn't run out of fuel," she said. My eyes shifted to Krista, who was sitting beside Ymir. Tears of joy and pride were falling down her cheeks as she gripped onto Ymir's hand for dear life. Ymir's gaze followed my own and she gave Krista's hand a comforting squeeze.

My attention turned to Eren, whose eyes were glossed over with tears. Part of me wanted to pull her closer and hug her, but my focus was quickly pulled away as Ymir started talking again.

"I'm glad you're here. I won't be able to come in for training for another few days. Nurses say I was unconscious for a while, now," she said. I nodded, giving her a short smirk

"I haven't been training for a few days either," I said. Pulling my shirt to the side, I revealed my bandaged shoulder. She winced slightly. "Can't really hold my sword. Hard to train if you can't attack." I noticed Eren staring at me, rather sympathetically, and I gave her a kind smile. She raised her eyebrow but quickly turned away. I found myself wanting to ask her what she was thinking, but I decided it was best I leave it alone. I didn't feel like talking about my injuries. Although, I did have something else to say to her.

"Eren?" I started, keeping my voice quiet. She turned to me, curiously. "Can we talk?" She nodded, giving Ymir a glance before walking with me to the corner of the room.

"What's up?" she asked, bringing her hands behind her back. I leaned against the wall, trying - and probably failing - to look casual.

"I wanted to apologize," I said. I could tell she was confused, so I clarified. "I've been distant. Rude... I wanted to apologize. Especially after seeing everything you did for me while I was stuck here." My eyes drifted to the bed I stayed in. Eren nodded, and I turned back to face her.

"It's okay. I understood. You'd been injured. You were stuck here. It's not easy to be kept from doing what you know you should be doing," she smiled. I still felt bad, but her smile was infectious. She continued, turning away and looking back at Ymir and Krista. "Plus, you and Petra split. I wasn't surprised when you became cold and distant afterward." I flinched slightly, thankful she couldn't see it.

How was I supposed to explain to my best friend all the emotions I was feeling? I wanted, more than anything, to tell her how much it meant to me that she had bothered to wake up early every day and clean my house. I wanted her to know how happy I was that she accepted my apology. How angry I was that I allowed myself to try and push her away in the first place. I wanted her to know how frustrated I was. Not just with my actions, but with my reaction to the realization that Petra had, indeed, dumped me. I don't know why, but I needed her to know that I wasn't upset at all. In fact, I was almost relieved.

Eren looked back at me and smiled, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the group. 


	11. We Should Celebrate

I walked up the steps to my front door, feeling as though I was flying. Ymir had woken up from whatever stupor had her unconscious, Levi had apologized for becoming distant, Mikasa said that I would be able to rest and she'd make dinner... everything was going perfectly.

My mind raced back to that moment in the infirmary. While he had apologized about being cold, I couldn't help but notice that he still looked guilty. Almost as if he was keeping something from me. I didn't want to pry into his private life, especially not when he was already behaving so vulnerable, but I found myself desperately wanting to know what he wasn't telling me. It was rather odd to see him so exposed, but I didn't mind. I felt honored for being someone he could trust so much.

As soon as I walked through the door, the wonderful smell of a homecooked meal drifted towards me. I closed my eyes, content for the time being, willing to just stand there in the doorway forever. I leaned against the frame, crossing my arms as I tried to identify what Mikasa was making. She was getting better in the kitchen. When I was a child, I would volunteer to help my mother with meals, leaving me with a gift with food. This was one of the only things I could do better than Mikasa. Her strengths always rested on the physical side: besting anyone in hand-to-hand combat, topping our old classes in training, and leading the charge during Titan battles as a few examples. While she trains me during our spare time, I'd started to introduce her to the real world of cooking.

I felt someone nudge my back and I whipped around, startled. Armin stood directly behind me, a charming smile appearing on his face when he saw my hands snap up defensively. I lightly punched his shoulder, but it only made him laugh.

"I invited Levi," he said walking past me. I beamed when I saw Levi's signature black hair. My happy mood was slightly diminished, however, when I noticed that his smile was fake. To keep from showing my confusion I turned and looked at Armin, closing the door behind Levi as he entered.

"I don't recall inviting you to begin with," I teased. Armin turned to me with an amused expression.

"You're not the only one living here, remember? Mikasa invited me," he replied. Somewhat under his breath, he added, "What a control freak." Judging by his playful expression, I knew he said it loud enough for me to hear on purpose and I stuck my tongue out at him. I spared a glance at Levi and noticed that his faked smile was becoming more genuine at Armin and I's childish bickering. I was glad I was able to help, even a little, with whatever was bothering him, but I still hated the idea of him keeping something from me. I made a mental note to ask him about it sometime after dinner when we could be alone.

Mikasa's call to the table interrupted any plans I had been making as all thoughts drifted towards the meal she was bringing into the room. I took a seat next to Armin and Levi soon took his own at the head of the table just beside me. Mikasa put out her hands in an inviting gesture and we were quick to take her up on it.

"So, I was thinking we should do something to celebrate," Armin said once we were all set with our portions. Mikasa and I shared a glance before looking back at him.

"Celebrate?" Mikasa started. I quickly took over, sharing her mindset.

"What are we celebrating, exactly?" Armin's eyes switched between the two of us. It surprised all three of us, however, when Levi was the one that answered.

"I'm alive, for one." His voice was filled with an emotion I couldn't place. I wished he had told me what was bothering him at the hospital. Then again, this had all really started after his breakup with Petra. Maybe he was just upset. Didn't he know he could talk to me about it? Part of me wanted to hug him to let him know that he could talk to me, but the other part of me wanted to smack Petra around for making him feel this way in the first place. Armin cleared his throat, snapping me out of my daze, and I blushed slightly when I realized I had been staring at Levi. I was slightly shocked when I found that he was blushing, too. I shook the thoughts out of my mind, focusing on what Armin was saying.

"Not only that, but Ymir also woke up today. What an incredible stroke of luck, right? It deserves to be celebrated!" I smiled at the genuine joy on his face. It wasn't often we got to feel that, and I wanted to give Armin this celebration. Anything it took to make this emotion last for us all.

"Alright," I said. His eyes sparkled at my encouragement. He glanced at both Mikasa and Levi and then turned back to me, excitement building in his expression.

"We should throw a party!" I was slightly taken aback, but I didn't want to show it. I didn't know the first thing about throwing a party, and from my experience, neither did Armin or Mikasa. I wanted to support him, but I didn't know how we would even help. Levi cleared his throat and it once again surprised each of us. I turned to look at him and found the blush was still evident on his face. It was kind of cute to see him this way.

"I could host it at my place," he said, the confidence in his tone defying the embarrassment he displayed. The blush lightened as he looked up to meet my eyes. "Might as well. You two did an amazing job taking care of my house while I was... unavailable. The least I could do is help out now." I smiled at him and quickly turned to look at Armin, who had suddenly puffed out his chest in a movement of pure pride. He must've been pretty happy to have his hard work acknowledged, and a surge of respect for Levi built in my chest.

"Thank you, Levi," Mikasa chimed in. He gave a curt nod and began eating, happily shoveling the food into his mouth. I didn't know what was so different about him today, but I wasn't sure I was complaining. He seemed more distant and was definitely hiding something. As much as I wished he was being more open with me, part of me was truly happy about how he was trying to help us. I reached over and gave his hand a thankful squeeze before turning my attention to my plate. 


	12. Let's Throw a... Party

I wasn't shocked when an odd mixture of disgust and anger built up inside my chest towards the dozens of party guests that Eren had brainwashed me into inviting in my house. I was surprised, however, to find Ymir already up and out of bed, socializing as if nothing had even happened. With the number of injuries she'd sustained, I had expected her to be bedridden for at least a few more weeks. However, when I saw her arm slung over Krista's shoulders, glowing smiles on both of their faces, I found a sense of respect for the two of them. 

It took a trained eye to notice the small winces when Ymir moved just a  _ bit _ too quickly, and the worried glances Krista would send her. Each time, Ymir would give a short shake of her head, getting back to whatever conversation she was in. Watching the pained expression on Krista's face become masked by happiness was something I was rather used to seeing: soldiers forced into feigning happiness in front of civilians. No matter how often I saw it, however, it still sent my body rigid with sadness. 

I was standing in the doorway connecting my kitchen and living room, watching over the guests like a hawk, my arms crossed. I knew I looked intimidating - I wanted to be - but the reality of the situation was that my back and arms were throbbing with the effort I was using to keep them crossed. Every now and then, someone would sidestep their way past me, hunching over slightly as if it made them invisible. Each time, I fought the temptation to black them off. I wasn't a huge fan of people digging through my stuff. 

"You alright?" Eren asked, hopping up on the counter behind me, shocking me out of my stance. I turned and walked over to her, resting my head against her shoulder in an act of defeat. 

"How do you know so many people?" I said as a response, side-eyeing the massive group of people in my living room. She chuckled underneath my head and I smiled despite myself. Eren pulled on the fabric on my arm, silently asking me to join her on the counter. Sighing, I hopped, my good arm immediately flying behind me to grab a hold of the wood as I inched my way up. 

"They gravitate towards me," she finally answered, following my eyes as we watched the party continue without us. "Does it still hurt?" I looked down at my arm, twisting it carefully as I tested the limits of my movement. It had been a while since I'd done anything physically taxing, and everyone around me was smart enough to leave the subject alone. I was supposed to start training again within the week, but I wasn't sure how well I'd perform given the fact that it still hurt to do something as simple as cross my arms. 

"It could've been worse," I said, curtly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eren look at me, but I pretended not to notice. 

"That's not what I asked." Glancing at her, she quickly understood my frustration and jumped down, patting my knee as an invitation to follow her. I grunted slightly.

"But I just-"

"Shut up and come here," she said, her voice an impossible mixture of delicacy and strictness. Hypnotized by the sudden tone shift, I hopped down, following her as she made her way through my house. Curiosity built up in my chest when I realized we were heading to my room, wanting more than anything to ask what she was doing, but she was keeping the pace brisk and the walk silent. It felt almost eerie to be so quiet when surrounded by so many booming conversations, but I kept my mouth shut. 

She opened the door, walking in with a sort of confidence many could only aspire to have, and I hid my smirk. She paused, looking around, and I took the opportunity to ask for clarification about what we were doing.

"So," I started, shoving my hand in my pocket in a failed attempt to look casual. "What are we doing here?" Eren glanced back at me, a mysterious scheming expression on her face that caused a lump to appear in my throat. I coughed, trying to clear it away as my gaze shifted to my bed, and she turned around again. 

"Looking."

Right. Okay. 

Deciding it better to leave it be, I leaned against the doorframe, letting Eren search my room for whatever it was she wanted to find. I watched as she dug through my closet and behind my dresser, biting down a laugh when she huffed in annoyance. Finally, she bent down and looked underneath my bed, and I felt my body stiffen: that was where I kept my training swords. 

I wasn't  _ supposed  _ to have them, but there were enough at the barracks. Besides, I'd had them for years and no one seemed to notice them missing, so I never bothered returning them. Eren and I had sparred in my backyard dozens of times using them during our downtime to keep our endurance and skills up. Was she looking for those? Why?

A short 'Aha' let me know that they were, in fact, what she had been looking for, as she pulled them out. They made a satisfying scraping sound as they slid against each other in her hands. She tossed me one of them, and I grabbed it from the air without thinking twice. Eren smiled at my instinctual action and gestured towards the window, clearly ready to use that as her escape route. 

My eyes widened at the obvious intention. It wasn't so far off the ground but it was still an uncomfortable distance. Especially for someone who was previously injured. Eren noticed my hesitation and laughed. 

"Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?" she asked, her voice incredulous. I narrowed my eyes at her. "It's less than six feet. Don't be a baby." I grumbled out an incomprehensible response as I pushed myself past her, launching myself put the window, landing on my knees. The impact, as short as the fall was, sent vibrations through my spine that had my injured arm tingling. I side-stepped as Eren landed just beside me, letting her, once again, take the lead. 

She led me to a small hill, away from prying eyes from the party, and I held back complaints about not being able to watch over the guests. I knew she wouldn't take me seriously. I watched as she spun the sword, expertly, as her hand became idle. Eren didn't have a lot of raw talent when it came to sword handling - that was Mikasa's field of expertise - but she had progressed much farther than most soldiers in the short amount of time she had been part of the military. Even before Eren had told me the reason she joined, I had assumed it was brought on by a sense of either revenge or  _ extreme  _ determination just by the way she trained. 

She stopped at the top of the hill, her arms dropping to simply hang at her sides as she looked to the sky. I watched with an odd fascination as she admired the cover of night. How was she able to behave so serenely when there was so much that had gone wrong over the past few weeks? I heard her sigh before turning to face me, a smile on her face as she raised her sword to just underneath my chin. 

"En Garde," she said, smirking when my eyes widened. She was crazy... I knew it wasn't smart to try training yet, so why did I find it difficult to keep my arm still at my side? Her grip was unwavering, the tip of the sword pressed against my throat. Despite my best efforts, I smiled back at her, meeting her eyes as I swung my sword up to knock hers away. 

Her next movement was almost too quick to follow.  _ Almost.  _ Her other arm came to grip the hilt as she swung with both arms down to meet my head. Trying not to use my injured arm, I brought the blade up to meet hers, an ungodly screech coming from the clash. I could've sworn she growled when I pushed her back, her leg shooting put underneath her to try and trip me up. Normally I would've been able to dodge it without an issue, but given the amount of time I'd been off my feet, my reflexes were delayed by just enough. Her ankle caught behind my legs, bringing me crashing down on my back, the shock of my arm hitting the ground knocking the breath out of lungs. Eren clicked her tongue at me disapprovingly, and I found myself wanting to make her happier with my performance. I knew what she was doing...

And I knew that to beat her, I'd have to get uncomfortable. 

I stood, forcing myself to use my bad arm, a dull pain shooting through it as I forced myself to my feet. I noticed a smile cross Eren's face before I swung my sword sideways, aiming for her waist. She easily stepped out of the way, snacking the blade away as she made a stab towards my stomach. I hopped back, the tip of her blade just barely missing me. Frustrated with how easily she was beating me, I tossed the sword into my other hand, the weight causing my arm to sag. Eren raised an eyebrow at me, swiping once again, this time at my chest. It took effort but I brought my arm up in just enough time to block her strike. Using my good arm as a brace, I brought the sword down on her in an action similar to her first attack. She brought her blade up in time to block my own, and I forced my body weight into the sword, already feeling the pain subside as the adrenaline took over. 

I suddenly became very aware of how close our faces were, only the blades as a barrier. My grip faltered for only a second, but Eren was quick to take advantage, even if she didn't know why she could. She pushed back, causing me to stumble backward. Taking a recovering step, Eren readied herself again, and I quickly matched her stance. I noticed the fire in her eyes and her wild expression. She had once expressed to me that I was the only one that she loved sparring with. Apparently, Armin and Mikasa were constantly afraid of hurting her, letting her win most of their matches. At the time, I took it to be an oddly timed comment, but now I was finally starting to get it. 

Sparring, in the world we live in, is a game of trust. We have to be ready for anything, putting our trust in the other to know our boundaries and just how far they can push our limits. Any injury on either side means one less soldier on the field. Eren had confided to me that I was the one she trusted the most.

And now I had to put all my trust in her.

Trust that she knew my strength after a week without training.

Trust that she knew how far she could push.

Trust that she wouldn't let her blade pierce my skin.

Trust that she knew  _ me. _

I smiled, tightening my grip on the sword hilt, turning my heel as I stepped towards her, seeing the same expression on her face. 


End file.
